Jen's Blog

Sometimes I am SO happy to be an adult. I love having my own insurance, car, my own paycheck (where I decide what to do with my money), and my own place. Some days it just feels so right and so good.

Other days, I hate everything about being grown up. Why can’t I go back to college or before? Everything was so easy then. I really felt like I had nothing to worry about (or nothing compared to the things I worry about now). I would give up some freedom I have today, but wouldn’t it be worth it not having to deal with x,y, and z alone?

And some days I think I’m ready to really grow up. What I mean is, put roots down. Stay somewhere forever a long time. Get a career and not a job. Settle into a life where I’m sure of where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing for the next 5 years and partying all the time is out of the question because I’m a REAL grownup (let’s be honest I still don’t feel like a REAL one right now). 

But then the other part of me takes over, and this part is much stronger and louder. This part of me wants to go crazy, because I’m young! And if I don’t do it now, when will I? And I want to make bad decisions and put the future on hold. This part of me also gets dizzy, claustrophobic, and nauseas at the thought of staying in one place for a long time, and knowing exactly how my life will play out.